How to Choose The Right Goals (Because You Only Get One Shot)

Leaving goals up to chance will leave you burned out, bitter, and wondering why you ever started

Not all goals are created equal.

Some give back more than they take. Others take and take and take…until you wake up burned out, bitter, and wondering why you ever started.

The problem isn’t effort, it’s your direction.
The problem isn’t the sacrifice, it’s whether the sacrifice matters to you.

So how do you choose goals that are worthy and stop chasing the ones that quietly drain the life out of you?

When Goals Becomes a Distraction

You might be chasing the wrong goal if:

• You feel less energized the closer you get to it

• It was born out of comparison, not conviction

• You keep saying “just one more push” but you’re always exhausted

• You fantasize more about finishing it than doing it

• You wouldn't choose it again if you had a clean slate today

These are the silent energy leaks that slowly erode your clarity, confidence, and joy.

They disguise themselves as ambition.
But they’re really avoidance in disguise.

The Test: Is This Goal Worthy?

Here’s a better way, inspired by Viktor Frankl, Naval Ravikant, and modern behavioral science:

Ask yourself:

1. Would I do this even if it took 10 years?

   • If the answer is “ugh,” it’s probably not aligned.

2. Does this goal align with who I want to become, not just what I want to have?

   • True goals shift identity, not just outcomes.

3. Is the process energizing at least some of the time?

   • You should want the climb, not just the view.

4. Would I pursue this if no one knew I was doing it?

   • If it’s fueled by ego, it will burn you out.

5. Am I willing to be bad at this for a long time?

   • If yes, then your love for it is probably real.

The Goal Framework

Every goal has a cost. In time, energy, relationships, peace of mind.
Choosing a new one means trading something.

So instead of adding more:

• Audit your current goals.
  What’s still truly worth it? What are you clinging to for identity or sunk cost?

• Categorize each one:

  • Energizing

  • Neutral

  • Draining

• Keep only what energizes.
  Pause or let go of what drains.

Then reallocate time to fewer, higher-return goals.
Ones that reward your effort with meaning.

The Mindset Shift: Growth ≠ Struggle

Not all suffering is noble.

Sometimes we cling to difficult goals because they feel hard, so we assume they must be meaningful.

But real growth is not masochism.
It’s meaningful resistance in the direction of your deepest values.

The right goals stretch you, but they don’t twist you out of shape.

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Choose Your Goals Wisely

• Aligned with your future identity

• Energizing even when challenging

• Chosen by you, not adopted from others

• Worth the pain of mastery

• Valuable even if they don’t “work out”

And ditch the ones that:

• Steal joy

• Are fueled by fear, FOMO, or approval

• Keep you busy but not fulfilled

Try This Weekly Ritual

“What goals did I move toward this week?”

“Which ones made me feel more like me?”

“Which ones drained me, even when I made progress?”

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You only get one life.
Don’t spend it chasing someone else’s idea of success.

The goal isn’t to avoid suffering.
It’s to suffer for something that is worthy.

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